i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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