I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
