So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
im holly from the hills drunk
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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