just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
