I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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