i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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