piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize