If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
