Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
