you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
