You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I fill condoms, not promises.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
