I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize