She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
