OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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