I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize