last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You are the jesus of drinking
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
