It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
