After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
COCAINE IS GR8
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize