google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
