Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
