porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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