i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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