Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize