that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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