marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
