i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Farmville is her only friend.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
