Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
