I think im going to throw up on grandma
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
