There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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