Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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