Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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