Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
