Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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