I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
