Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
