i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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