My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so let's talk penis.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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