I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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