After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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