Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
