i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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