So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
