I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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