soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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