When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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