HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
