dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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