Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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