ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
