Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
