i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
