I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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