I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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