I look better un-naked...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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