hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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