she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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