is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
