so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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