If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
