yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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