Pants 0. Shit 1.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
