I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
