GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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