If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
