what if every blade of grass was a penis?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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