Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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