C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
