When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
