So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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