no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
