"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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