hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
