I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
