So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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