Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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