What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We smell like vodka and hangover
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