fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I understand Curling. That high.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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