It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
