Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
