Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
